He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He passed out mid-signature
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
