I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
