"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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