You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
They have beer where we have blood.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
