im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
