I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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