he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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