do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Me too!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize