I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize