Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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