sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
