You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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