i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
