We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
