is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
