ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
