i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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