despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
