dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
