mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
