This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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