I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i think im in europe. pls send help
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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