I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
