she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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