this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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