Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
