but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
