It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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