I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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