people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
