I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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