DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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