Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
