of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
