My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
