Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Fuck me I smell like cheese
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
