We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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