Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
