I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
