So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
