Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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