dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
