Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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