I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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