Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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