Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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