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that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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