We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
did i just pee glitter
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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