so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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