Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
high people should be assigned attendants
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
