And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
