I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
