New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
