I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
