she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
