fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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