Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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