Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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