The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
