I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
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