I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He is an equal opportunity slut.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
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i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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