My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
