You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
