Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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