So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
