the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
