don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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